What do clocks look like in YOUR house?

Posted: December 28th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: | No Comments »

CP:  Did you microwave that tamale for 1:70?
Me: 1:70? ::puzzled::
CP:  Yeah, 1:70.  It says 2 minutes but I just did it for 1:70 and it was fine.
Me: Your microwave lets you do 1:70?
CP:  170 seconds.  Just under 2 minutes.
Me:  ::::more puzzled::::
CP:  Oh….. not 1:70…. I get it.  60 seconds, ha ha.  Ok. I mean, I put it in for 200…
Me:  You mean 2 minutes?
CP:  200 seconds
Me:  ::::am I the one that doesn’t understand time??::::
CP:  200 is 2 minutes, right?  I just put if for 200 and stopped it with 30 seconds left, so that’s like 170, right?
Me:  2 minutes is 120 on my microwave. What’s your microwave look like?
CP:  Well I just put it for 200 and stopped it when it said 30…
Me:  …..we’re not putting you in charge of any countdowns.

Adventures in Sandwiches

Posted: December 27th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , | No Comments »

Subway Girl*:  (points to card machine)  Is not working, is fine.
Me:  ::::hmmmm::::
SG:  It’s stuck.  See, nothing.  Is fine.
Me:  uhhh   (what does this mean??)
SG:  Is not working, is fine
Me:  ok   (do I just leave??)
SG:  Yeah
Me:  uhhh…
SG:  Is not working
Me:  (about to leave)
SG:   Oh, is working.  Let me see card again.
Me:  ::damn, there goes a free sandwich::

* this particular Subway girl has a crush on me that usually results in me getting better sandwiches and free cookies.

Real convo

Posted: May 16th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | No Comments »

at the infamous Corner Bistro (which is definitely NOT the home of the best burger in NYC)

Me: what’s going on with your beer?

GF: what’s going on with my tummy more like it

(glance at her plate, see only bun left)

Me: I see you ate all the meat

GF: ….sweaty….