9 Things that Won’t Happen in Dreams

Posted: March 3rd, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Comments Off on 9 Things that Won’t Happen in Dreams

Dreams are sneaky.


Subconscious (Photo credit: kevin dooley)

Created deep within the unresolved issues of your own mind (or planted there by snow ninjas, including the girl from Juno), these nocturnal adventures can occasionally cause you to wake up in a cold sweat, or at least awaken to scratching your head and trying to figure out why you were just chasing after a giant cheese wheel being driven by Ben Franklin.

Given today’s random topic, here’s a quick list of 9 things that won’t happen in my dreams.

1.) Losing a sword fight

I have never once lost a sword fight in my dreams. I have done a fair share of running away, more-so since I started watching Dr. Who. I blame David Tennant, really. Regardless, I cannot recall a time when I was defeated.

2.) Winning the lottery

Even my subconscious mind knows that success comes from hard work and intuition, not luck. Either that or the times I do dream about being wealthy and successful are not times I was concerned about exploring my own back-story.

3.) Dating Heidi Klum

Probably same as above. Damn you, subconscious!!

4.) That thing where you can’t read because all the text is gibberish

When I was a kid I used to watch Batman everyday after school. I remember in Perchance to Dream, Bruce Wayne couldn’t read the

Batman: Child of Dreams

Batman: Child of Dreams

newspaper, allegedly because you cannot read in your dreams. I took this for the truth, of course, and was greatly astounded when I was able to do something Batman cannot. Pow!

5.) Star Shock

Speaking of the Doctor, what’s the fun of going on an adventure if you’re going it alone? Quite often I’ll find myself hanging out with or doing work alongside some of the greatest personas in history, and yet never have I been too very impressed by who I met. I suppose it’s my mind and if they’re knocking about in there, no reason to be too bothered.

6.) The Trial Scene from Law & Order

Fighting crime is one of the recurring tropes in my dreams, yet as often as I track down evidence, chase a suspect through the streets and/or have it all culminate in a dashing sword fight, never does it move beyond that and into the classic Dick Wolf-esque trial scene at the end of a good Law & Order episode.

7.) Wearing pants at work

I know that the typical diagnosis of this trope is to say that you feel unprepared for something. I don’t really know what the reason could be, but I do know what I’ve had plenty of dreams when I suddenly found myself sans pants and stuck at work. Usually it’s a scenario where nobody else has noticed and I have an opportunity to sneak out, if only I can get down all 8 floors and out the door..and right onto a high-visibility block on a busy street… Why are there no pants when you really need them?!

8.)Writing down my own dreams

In my dreams, I have never had one of those handy steno pads next to my bed where I could write down what happened. I could be getting Inception‘d all the time and have no written record of it.

9.) Never bother finishing lists…

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