Dear Dogs of the World,

I’m still without a furry, canine companion.

I really don’t know what the deal is. I wrote this great post discussing which of you guys I’d be down to chill with. I’ve invited you into my home. I’ve even had the GF’s dog over for a weekend to check the place out and spread the word that this home is highly dog-friendly.

Yet my quest goes on unfulfilled.

So, I kindly request that when I return home on Sunday, one of you could be chilling on my doormat and then we can begin our bro-lationship.

Sincerely,

Ryan G.

Five Things: Dogs I'd Like to Own

This list has been actively debated by the GF and I for a little while now, and I want to get down my ideas right now, just in case I’m later persuaded that my ideas are less right and I end up with some kind of tutu dog on a bedazzled pink leash….

Without further ado, here’s the pooches I’d like to own
(btw, all of these dogs are compact, to be better suited to urban, yardless living)

1.)  English Bulldog

English Bulldog

I’ve wanted one of these dogs probably since I saw Adam Sandler’s dog playing basketball with him.  Slobber-machine aside, these guys are stocky & solid (just like me) and pretty irresistible when you see them in public (also just like me).  After-all, everyone wants to have someone around who makes them feel loved and secure at the same time.  Possible names include:  Brooklyn, Bronx, Igloo or Roosevelt.

2.) Schnauzer

Kakfa the Schnauzer

I’ve already covered the predominant reasons I want to own a schnauzer in this post.  In addition, I’m decently sure that if I owned one of these, I’d probably end up reading more, and being someone who says to people “Wasn’t it so and so who said (insert great quote here). (receive nods and applause here)”.  Sounds like win-win, no?  Possible names include:  Kafka, Franz, or Herman.

3.) Jack Russell Terrier

I admit, I really first liked these guys because Fraiser had one.  I have to say, I’ve gotten mixed reviews about Jack Russells and their boundless energy.  Might have to get mine a treadmill or something.  Perhaps, though, owning a hunting dog in the city is just not a great idea.  Damn you, Wishbone, you made them look so cool, and literate.  Possible names include:  Alexander or Simon

4.)Cairn Terrier

cairn terrier

This past weekend I saw one of these at the Humane Society and was mere seconds away from taking it home and hiding it’s existence from my apartment complex until Anie convinced me that it’d be much more reasonable to wait.  It was not a great feeling leaving the poor pooch there, but probably for the best.  After all, it’s at the Biltmore. That badboy is probably eating out of some kind of gold-plated food dish tonight.

5.) French Bulldog

French Bulldog

Not sure whether it’s fair or not, but I see these dogs as a streamlined version of their English counter-parts.  Typically, I shy away from most things with “French” in the name, likely tied to a French’s Mustard overdose as a youngster, but having seen one or two of these in the park across the street, they seem to be Americanized enough to love.  After all, one of my favorite YouTube videos features a frenchie.  (Don’t worry, he figures it out)

List completed, let me say that whatever dog I get will most certainly be a rescue of some type.  There are too many dogs out there that need homes, and puppy-farms have to be among the most evil places ever created.

Whoa-lly Crap! Dandy Dog

For a while now, Anie & I have been discussing what kind of dog we want to own when we co-habitate (whoa, big step, I know, but that’s a whole other story…).

One of the themes that comes up often, though not as often as I’d hope, is owning a schnauzer (sp?).  My primary interests are because I imagine educated people with dens and wall-to-wall bookcases own schnauzers.  Also, I like to imagine I could teach it to smoke a pipe and talk like Sherlock, or at least Mr. Peabody.

Then today I saw this bad boy:

dapper dog

I am 142% sure I need to own this guy.
Well, I say “own” but how much can anyone really own a dog that knows how to wear a top hat, monocle AND smoke a pipe?  Shoot, I don’t even know how to smoke a pipe.

I need to convince this dude to move in with me.  I’ll even pay his half of the rent as long as he wing-mans for me on walks.

(image found on Clockwork)

I know Anie will dig this.

I want to own a Yoga Dog, too.

My Birthday is exactly 6 months away…

I will gladly accept one of these. 
If you can’t store it until my birthday, I will also accept delivery today

Thanks