Found this in my notebook not too long ago.
By my estimate, that note has to be 4-5 years old.
I’m very unsure why I never ripped it out.
Probably left it there as a cautionary lesson that I’ve forgotten again and again.
On the surface, at least….
Let’s start with a quote from a blog I read the other day:
“I guess he throws himself into everything he does that way, always over the top.” — BeAwesomeInstead
Sometimes I’m Ted. To really accomplish something, I have to drink the Kool-Aid. I have to be all in, or I don’t think it will pan out.
As we all know, when you leap before you look, you get burned. But sometimes being burned proves you’re alive.
Sometimes I’m Ted.
76. I cheat at Uno.
77. I believe a good moustache is trickier than it looks.
78. I judge books by their cover. And their weight. And how they’ll look on my shelf.
79. What happened to Kevin Costner? Is there a life-lesson here I’m missing?
80. I like baseball because it ties me to history. I like college football because it ties me to tradition.
81. I nearly severed my thumb playing basketball in the fifth grade. Didn’t even hurt until it came time to clean it and stitch it.
82. I think that finding a good barber is a rite of manhood.
83. I’m not sure if it’s better to be the Quarterback or the Offensive Coordinator.
84. I usually only read a book by a new author if they have more in the series. I hate waiting for the next book to come out.
85. I once took a picture of someone being rather inappropriate with a Ronald McDonald statue. This should have been strike 3 against that person.
86. I love Legos. Still.
87. Escalators should be more fun. I should be able to slide up and down the handrail.
88. When things get awkward, I laugh. A lot. Awkward = funny with me.
89. My zodiac profile says I’m two-faced. I call it versatile.
90. I can’t open my eyes under water. They’re slanty and the water shmushes them.
91. I’m allergic to empty beer glasses/bottles.
92. “Smell ya later” is a closing I’ve tried to make happen a few times.
93. I am excellent at putting electronics together. Less so at putting gametes together.
94. I will judge you by how you take your eggs.
95. When I doodle, I always draw shapes first, then figure out what I can make from it.
96. I do not like to text in short form: I feel bad writing “ur” instead of “your” or “you’re”
97. My orange t-shirts have been stolen the most often.
98. I have been in love a few times but my heart has only been broken twice- and both times it was worth it.
99. I like roasting marshmallows in theory. In practice, I make them into fiery lumps of sugar.
100. John > Paul. I have a friend and an uncle named Paul, but I once had a very serious boss named John.
51. The previews are rarely my favourite part of the movie theatre experience, but I never want to miss them
52. I believe that songs on the radio come on as direct signs to me
53. It’s a much better high when you talk someone into giving you something for free than when you try to just take it.
54. My principal once told me I contributed to her ulcer.
55. When at the public library and I see a book I read and loved, I will pull it out on the shelf a little more so it stands out. Librarians must hate me.
56. I am an excellent public speaker, at least I think that’s the consensus. Mostly I can just keep talking and gesturing on auto-pilot while staring down my audience.
57. Water sports are totally foreign to me. We’re a desert people.
58. March Madness is pointless to me. Real sports start April 1st and end in October.
59. I like the window seat. I’ll take the aisle seat, but I won’t be happy and prolly will kick someone for not following the instructions in the event of a water landing.
60. My least productive time of day is after lunch. This is also when I try to schedule all my meetings.
61. Before working in a call center I was intimidated about talking on the phone with strangers. I think I doubted my own voice.
62. The Godfather is one of the greatest movies of all time. This is not opinion- this is fact.
63. I get mad when I think that everyone gets to vote. The system fails when Iowa sets the pace.
64. Blue freezies are the best. Especially with some rum or vodka added.
65. My worst date involved a girl who thought that slavery was still acceptable.
66. I really like airports, but don’t much like airplanes.
67. I got my first parking tickets this year. The car wasn’t registered in my name, though.
68. My favorite color is orange, but I don’t show it as much anymore. It’s a private favoritism.
69. I like to play scrabble but always forget my entire vocabulary.
70. I get irrationally angry when I watch movies where dudes get screwed over by women. (see The Carrie Bradshaw Massacre).
71. I do not know my license plate number.
72. I’ve been teaching myself spanish for the last decade. I usually focus on learning more when I’m single and want to seem worldly. Or when I see a cute spanish girl.
73. I regularly think of who would be my “phone a friend” if I ever was on “Who wants to be a millionaire?”. My first instinct is to lie and say “Alex Trebec”, but I bet he wouldn’t have the answers on a card in front of him at the time.
74. I like grape pop, prolly more than I should. I also really like grape Kool-Aid.
75. I do not find painting relaxing. I tried it, it was like the most stressful parts of coloring and clothes-staining.
26. I like the smell of the light blue mr.sketch marker. I’m also pretty chill with all vis-a-vis markers.
27. I get confused by fax machines. Should really just set them up as e-mail printers instead.
28. I have never been to a wedding for a friend of mine. Once for a co-worker, that was because I wanted to see her cousin who I used to date.
29. Ice is over-rated. I hate watered down drinks that do NOT include whiskey.
30. Sometimes in the elevator people think I’m new to the company because of the department I work for. I rarely tell them I’ve been there 10 years. Instead of politely respond in ways that make them feel intellectually inferior.
31. My favorite Christmas Carol is “Silver Bells”. My least favorite is that crappy Wings song.
32. I am very bad at: time management, freethrows, keeping track of my pants and driving a standard.
33. I sing things at random times, usually somethings someone has just said nearby.
34. My favorite mode of transportation is train. Light Rail, Go!!
35. Kirstin Dunst is frequently in my 5. Usually she’s only removed when I forget she was MaryJane Watson.
36. I like classic names and strong names. Don’t try to get fancy, just be direct.
37. History was my favorite academic subject. Math & Science always came easy enough, and then I forget everything after I took the test.
38. I never studied for tests. It’s bad luck I think.
39. I once was walking and got hit by a car. I was five and managed to jump on the hood. Since then I’ve never been afraid of cars.
40. Orange juice is my favorite beverage derived from a fruit. Unless there turns out to be a Whiskey Fruit, but I doubt that myth is true.
41. “How I Met Your Mother” is my favorite television show.
42. I once held a job that should have required me to wear an oxygen tank and full protective gear. It was the BK Lounge
43. I do not believe at love at first sight. Gotta check out both sides, at least.
44. Sometimes I buy random produce at the grocery store, but I never use it.
45. I believe in karma, very much!!
46. Zoos make me a little sad, and a lot tired.
47. Commercials on Pandora is truely one of the worst changes ever.
48. I lothe kids who don’t listen. I respect kids who can talk their parents into a corner.
49. I see the allure of cats, but I’m totally a dog person. I don’t need to take care of something that might want to secretly kill me. At least, not until I have kids.
50. I like green apples, I do not like red. It used to be the other way around.
I stole the concept of this list from another blog (brainyjane22.wordpress.com), but the facts below are all adapted to be true about me.
1. I was born May 22nd, 1982. My mother spent 24-hours in labor with me before I was shorn from her womb like McDuff.
2. I really like juice boxes. I’m neutral on Capri Suns. I wish someone made a 40oz juice box.
3. Buying books gives me a high.
4. My favorite fruit is oranges, but I eat strawberries and bananas more often
5. I want to visit Israel, London and Madrid. I never want to go back to Mexico.
6. In high school we frequently convinced the bus driver to take us thru the McDonald’s drive-thru.
7. My favourite ‘kid friendly’ joke is still the “frayed knot” one.
8. “What up!” (channeling Barney Stinson) is my favourite thing to yell when I’m excited
9. I can play the piano only in my dreams. I also solve crimes in my dreams and once dated Golda Meir & Gweneth Paltrow simultaneously.
10. I’m much more productive in the summer, which further proves my theory that I am solar powered.
11. I think Janet Jackson is either overrated or underemployed. I feel the same about a lot of “pop stars”
12. I have a tin star. Not sure that makes me a real law man.
13. I apologize many times, but rarely say “I’m sorry” unless I really am.
14. I do not own a Dave Matthew’s cd. Why own a song that sounds like my GF in her sleep.
15. I prefer Cat Stevens to Sheryl Crow, but I would not like to be named Cat.
16. I can only wear watches for a limited timespan. I’m glad beepers/cellphones were invented to tell time.
17. I can do the robot, but I also greatly fear robot-apocolypse.
18. When I don’t think I’ve explained myself as clearly as I could have, I use my hands to chop the conversation and take control back.
19. My mother always liked carnations. I don’t understand girls who hate them.
20. I like to say I’m excellent at roulette. I am not excellent at making ballsy bets, though.
21. I’m excellent at talking without saying anything.
22. I love bacon like nobody’s business.
23. i like extremely violent weather. 387 days of sun each year will do that do you.
24. I always fall asleep on road trips. Even “road trips” to the corner store.
25. John Krasinski is no Martin Freeman. This is the reason The Office is horrible here.
Yes, I meant what I said. Go back and re-read that title.
When a nerd digs something, we really dig it (sometimes literally; those nerds are called archeologists). If we’re into something, we’re going to find out everything we can learn about it.
We do this for two reasons:
1.) Because we think that our expertise is directly tied to our devotion, and that everyone will know we are the tops at something because we know every obscure fact about it
2.) Because we want to be the best at whatever it is.
Think about it. Star Wars nerds really love them some Jedi. They forgive George Lucas for making Jar-Jar Binks, they think Episode 3 wasn’t a complete waste of time, and they can do a very impressive Admiral Akbar impression (It’s a trap!). They love Jedi so much that they prolly even listen to Jedi Mind Tricks and think Vinnie Paz is the best MC ever.
Even undercover-nerds follow this line. Think about the jock-nerd who plays Madden til his thumbs blister up. Those guys know the rosters and each team’s weaknesses within days of the game being released. I once played a game of Madden against a dude who’d set-up his entire roster just to be unstoppable at kick returns. No, not just his kick returner, his entire roster. When you know how well lineman block, you’ve put some serious dedication into this. Don’t even get me started on PC Game nerds. The amount of nerd-rage generated when one PC Game nerd gets out nerded is palable. Nerd-rage like that could lead scientist to discover affordable fusion-reactors and power the hadron-colliders non-stop.